Noon

There's a seven year old boy sitting at my desk. He notices a picture and asks me who it's of...

"Hey fat boy, who's that?"

"She's a friend."

"Oh? You married?"

"No, she's just a friend."

"You ain't married to anyone? You don't have no kids?"

"No. Not married. No kids."

"You alone?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"You don't even have two kids?"

"No, not two kids."

"One and a half kids?"

"What?"

"You don' t have one and a half kids?"

"No, no kids."

"What about an inchworm? A goldfish?"

"What?"

"Like pets. You don't have no pets?"

"I have a dog."

"Oh yeah, so you're not alone. You have a dog."

"Yeah..."

"See it's not so bad. You thought you were alone. But you have a dog. You can't be alone with a dog."

"I just want you to know that this is the most depressing conversation I've had all week. And that's saying quite a bit."

"I don't know what that means."

"I know, you're still young."

"Ok fat boy, where's bad boy? He's more fun than you. You make me sad."

"He's not in today."

"Ok. I'm going to play pokemon."

"Ok."

"I should have used harden to get the paralyze off."

"Wait, what?"

"Pokemon. I should've used harden to get the paralyze off. I gotta leave to kill the cascoon with the poison from horse with the fire on his mane. Try not to be alone fatboy. Bye."

"Later kid."