Status Quo?

While I try and craft a new entry from the leftover remnants of everything I've ever stood for here is a chronological listing of every Facebook Status Message I've ever written...

March 5th, 12:07pm: "Christian Palomba is rapidly redefining the scope and meaning of the word "Incredulous".
March 6th, 1:51am: "Christian Palomba knows which way the wind blows."
March 6th, 4:12pm: "Christian Palomba is slightly in awre of how strange his life can be."
March 7th, 2:55am: "Christian Palomba would really like to know what the hell just happened."
March 9th, 2:21am: "Christian Palomba this Watchmen would have been better if there was slightly less penis or slightly more pants in it."
arch 9th, 12:40pm: "Christian Palomba feels like a pig shat in his head."
March 10th, 11:17pm: "Christian Palomba feels really old and tired...because he is really old and tired."
March 15th, 8:15am: "Christian Palomba is so ridiculously screwed."
March 15th, 9:07pm: "Christian Palomba is sort of surprised we all survived that one."
March 16th, 1:38am: "Christian Palomba has never tasted person."
March 17th, 5:30pm: "Christian Palomba is enjoying the only day of the year where he actually admits to being 37.5% Irish..."
March 18th, 3:44pm: "Christian Palomba would like to be doing something productive except his computer seems to have just realized it is an antique."
March 18th, 10:22pm: "Christian Palomba is loving lost."
March 19th, 3:28pm: "Christian Palomba is about to raise some hell."
March 20th, 3:22am: "Christian Palomba is a little worse for the wear, but still right here."
March 20th, 7:50pm: "Christian Palomba so say we all..."
March 20th, 11:51pm: "Christian Palomba is hearing nothing but the rain."
March 23rd, 1:32am: "Christian Palomba is like hey, uh, you wanna see my Iron Man?"
March 24th, 12:11pm: "Christian Palomba is Christian Palomba in a Christian Palomba production of The Christian Palomba Story."
March 24th, 7:42pm: "Christian Palomba is going offline to set up his new computer...this might take awhile."
March 25th, 2:55pm: "Christian Palomba is almost up and running...god damn network."
March 25th, 6:38pm: "Christian Palomba is not very happy with his network right now."
March 26th, 7:53pm: "Christian Palomba has a cool new computer, a cool new printer, and a cool new camera...but still isn't connected to his goddamn network."
March 28th, 6:25pm: "Christian Palomba has absolutely nothing to do for the next twelve hours...remarkable."
March 30th, 1:32am: "Christian Palomba knows."
April 1st, 9:46am: "Christian Palomba is finding entirely too man things entirely too amusing just this moment."
April 2nd, 6:32pm: "Christian Palomba is like "You gotta be kidding me."
April 4th, 7:04am: "Christian Palomba is thinking he probably should've stayed home and cleaned instead of going out last night...because this office just ain't agreeing with him right now."
April 4th, 5:55pm: "Christian Palomba is all tied up in nothing."
April 6th, 2:54am: "Christian Palomba feels like his head is about to explode..."
April 6th, 12:33pm: "Christian Palomba thinks it's entirely too early in the day to need a drink, and yet..."
April 6th, 4:29pm: "Christian Palomba is creating."
April 8th, 12:36am: "Christian Palomba thinks it's funny how that happens, and wonders if it would be even funnier if it wasn't."
April 9th, 12:53pm: "Christian Palomba can't quite believe it."
April 12th, 4:25pm: "Christian Palomba says you can't stop me...you can't even slow me down."
April 12th, 1:40pm: "Christian Palomba knows the whole world isn't out to get him...just a very small yet determined part of it."
April 14th, 12:24pm: "Christian Palomba is contemplating the vast and wonderous way that this world works...and wishing it was socially acceptable to drink at work."
April 15th, 3:26pm: "Christian Palomba is not reinventing the wheel...he's just reimagining it."
April 16th, 9:02pm: "Christian Palomba is walking..."
April 19th, 2:36am: "Christian Palomba knows the name, but can't quite place the face."
April 20th, 1:06pm: "Christian Palomba fears heinous fuckery most foul is afoot."
April 22nd, 12:20am: "Christian Palomba can't quite think of a status message to describe these past few days."
April 22nd, 12:21am: "Christian Palomba doesn't know exactly where these stories are going, but he's pretty damn certain how they're going to end. Yeah...that works."
April 23rd, 2:37am: "Christian Palomba is something something something and a half."
April 23rd, 12:27pm: "Christian Palomba apparently has very soft hands."
April 24th, 3:46pm: "Christian Palomba is suffering from a slight excess of undue fuckery, but should have it all cleared up forthwith."
April 26th, 1:25pm: "Christian Palomba is a wee bit under the weather, but since when has that stopped him from trying to have a good time?"
April 27th, 2:11am: "Christian Palomba is pretty goddamn beat."
April 27th, 10:56pm: "Christian Palomba is waiting..."
April 29th, 5:50pm: "Christian Palomba is laughing quite a bit right now, and intends to continue to do so for the forseeable future."
April 30th, 5:43pm: "Christian Palomba thinks alyssa devine is really hot"
May 3rd, 11:35am: "Christian Palomba just realized he's been wearing the same shirt for three straight days."
May 4th, 2:50pm: "Christian Palomba wonders how much trouble he could cause in a real short stretch of time if he really put his mind to it."
May 5th, 6:42pm: "Christian Palomba's going to get lousy tonight so he can get loud tomorrow. There's some sorting coming down the pike right about now. Should be fun."
May 6th, 1:02am: "Christian Palomba is thinking that probably wasn't the smartest thing he's ever done."
May 7th, 2:52am: "Christian Palomba is totally uncalled for."
May 8th, 1:21pm: "Christian Palomba is going to a dinner with the Bishop this evening...anyone want to guess how many ways this can go wrong?"
May 10th, 4:46am: "Christian Palomba never stops, never slows down, never surrenders..."
May 11th, 12:26am: "Christian Palomba needs a nap."
May 12th, 10:04pm: "Christian Palomba has had enough of the office for one day, and is now going home."
May 13th, 2:10pm: "Christian Palomba is ten types of tired...but still has a long afternoon in front of him."
May 14th, 3:39pm: "Christian Palomba is busy, then not busy, then busy, then not busy, then busy, then not busy...goddammit day make up your mind."
May 14th, 8:46pm: "Christian Palomba needs alcohol and food, preferrably in that order."
May 15th, 12:08pm: "Christian Palomba is really beginning to wonder which way the wind is blowing ...and if we're all going to last long enough to find out."
May 17th, 3:35pm: "Christian Palomba knows."
May 17th, 11:51pm: "Christian Palomba thinks this Dr.Pepper tastes really good...because you're a whore."
May 19th, 12:12am: "Christian Palomba says it's like playing Risk and you feel like you're doing pretty well and then all of a sudden you're stuck in Indonesia staring out at Siam with like a million of the other guys guys on it and you realize for one glaringly painful moment, "I am totally dicked right now."'
May 20th, 12:50am: "Christian Palomba wonders what you were doing down by the watermelons?"
May 20th, 10:20pm: "Christian Palomba has the answers, but can't quite find the questions."
May 22nd, 10:33pm: "Christian Palomba kills giants."
May 23rd, 4:51pm: "Christian Palomba would take pleasure in gutting you boy."
May 24th, 1:57am: "Christian Palomba is chaos..."
May 24th, 11:57pm: "Christian Palomba if it looks like Eric Bana, sounds like Eric Bana, and smells like Eric Bana it must be...Eric Bana."
May 25th, 10:15pm: "Christian Palomba needs a shave and a scotch."
May 27th, 2:50pm: "Christian Palomba is watching the world burn down on a close circuit television."
May 27th, 5:27pm: "Christian Palomba is aiming to have himself one hell of a night...not sure exactly how yet though."
May 27th, 10:19pm: "Christian Palomba is starting to wonder if the big sign over my life reads "Trouble: Open For Business"'
May 28th, 10:25pm: "Christian Palomba is out wandering for just a bit."
May 29th, 5:37pm: "Christian Palomba says, "You know that little voice in the back of your head that tells you when something you're about to do is a bad idea? Right now he's screaming."'
May 30th, 7:10pm: "Christian Palomba's got a fiddle and a box of matches."
June 1st, 4:16pm: "Christian Palomba says "There are days in a man's life where the illusion of a future he will never have is all that is necessary to sustain him."'
June 2nd, 10:12pm: "Christian Palomba is ten types of tired."
June 3rd, 12:44pm: "Christian Palomba going to get just a little bit silly...just a little bit."
June 4th, 3:10pm: "Christian Palomba makes the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round."
June 6th, 7:39pm: "Christian Palomba is wondering how after weeks of being so busy he could barely breathe...tonight he finds himself sort of bored."
June 7th, 10:38pm: "Christian Palomba needs a drink..."
June 8th, 10:15am: "Christian Palomba needs a drink..."
June 8th, 8:59pm: "Christian Palomba is not quite ready to call it a night...but will probably wish he had in the morning."
June 9th, 3:05am: "Christian Palomba lives to fight another day."
June 11th, 1:38pm: "Christian Palomba is the status quo."