Oh Fuckstockings...

I've never met anyone else who seems to be contractually obligated by life to attempt to be everything and nothing all at once, all the while knowing they aren't anything at all.

I'd say my life's gone off the rails but the truth is I'm doing just fine, it's everyone else all around me that seems rather fucked as of late. I wish I could do more, or say more, or just do anything to help any of them...but I can't. So I sort of just watch, and wait, because I know.

I've spent entirely too much time in the office this week, entirely too much time with my mind wandering when it should have been sharp and focused. Last night I spent too much time drinking, and laughing, and spending ungodly amounts of money (how much do I have to spend before it comes godly? We really ought to be getting there soon).

Today I spent some time writing, I've been writing quite a bit this week even if it's not going anywhere. I keep getting sidetracked though. I've had that song from the fucking Hannah Montana movie stuck in my head for four motherfucking days and every once and awhile when I'm trying to come up with the a line I slip and the song makes it's way back in (pop it, lock it, polka dot it...wait, what the fuck?). It's rather mind-fuckingly frustrating.

But then again I guess it's just been a frustrating sort of a week.

Not just for me though, for everyone it seems.

I just keep telling people, everything will be fine. Half the time I don't know who I'm trying to convince. But I know, everything will be fine. Not because it has to be, not because it can't work out any other way. Just because, well...I know. I know it's going to be ok.

Look, I know you won't believe me (and you is so often so very many people) and I don't blame you. If you were the one writing this and I was the one reading and it all sounded just this crazy I probably wouldn't believe it either. But believing or not believing in something doesn't make it any more or less true...

So don't worry about it. Everything's going to be just fine.
~

And yes this was a fairly incoherent, rambling, nonsensical entry but I'm half delirious with exhaustion, half delirious with boredom, and half delirious with hunger. So if you add that all up I'm like 150% delirious and I wisely chose to pass up an excellent masturbation joke I just cooked up which just makes me more frustrated...which I think makes me more delirious.