The Lash

I won't discuss in any great detail the mistakes I made the other night. Not because I'm ashamed, not because I did anything horribly wrong, not because I don't want to, but because I'm not entirely sure why things played out like they did. And I am entirely sure that I don't like it.

The good news is that going in the hole like that was a hell of a lot more fun than I expected it to be and that all things considered it could have ended a hell of a lot worse then it did.\

So I guess I'm lucky.

I was sort of expecting a certain phonecall tonight and as of right now I haven't gotten it. That's good for a few reasons and bad for a few more.

I don't have any clean clothes and my basement is still a mess so I'll be heading up to my mom's shortly to do a load of laundry. Little Sister isn't doing a great job with her dog walking job, but I'm sure she'll catch on. The Rookie swears he'll do it if she can't, but I'm not sure he's ready yet either.

Christmas is exactly a week away. I have no idea what I'm doing for the holiday yet, I haven't gotten anyone gifts yet, and truth is I'm not really looking forward to it all that much. I liked the holidays better when everyone was around, since my grandparents passed it's just not as interesting to me as it was. By this point in there lives most people have their own families to spend the holidays with, they replace the people that you've lost along the way in a way. I don't have that. Maybe I never will. I don't know.

The Antioch Team is going to find out in the next few weeks whether we're ready or not, we'll have a better idea if this is all starting to form together or if it's all about to fall apart. They're good kids. I'm sure they'll be fine.

I'm reading The Walking Dead and then I've read pretty much all the comics I intended to read, and then some. I'm not sure when new comic day is next week, so I don't know if I'll be getting anything. I'll be finished with The Walking Dead tonight and then I'm kind of hoping the people at the comic shop will point me in the direction of something interesting. It's only been a year since I started reading comics and I'd hate to think I've already read most of what's worth reading. So we'll see what happens next.

I've also slipped out of one funk and into another. Sometimes when I feel the way I feel now it's because I'm not right with some people. Then I usually have to get square with them or just get over it. This time I'm afraid it's a little different. I'm already alright with most people I figure, and now I'm wondering if that's half the problem.

I just don't know.

And I'm afrad I haven't made any sense at all here. So I'm going to hightail it home and try and get sorted.

Or maybe just wait for a phonecall I know ain't coming.