Lost Posts Found: "For You"

Last night I paid a visit and in doing so ended up having a pretty good conversation. At some point during the evening something compelled me to share a theory that I've held for quite awhile. These little visits are great times for things like this, one it lets me flush out an idea and two no matter how stupid it sounds I pay well so it doesn't actually matter. Last night I explained why "For You" are the two most powerful words in the English language. It went over pretty well. Maybe it was the bourbon, maybe it was just the general mood, but I thought I sold the idea fairly strongly. So when I got home I went back looking for the original post in which I explained my theory. Only to find that it isn't there. Apparently "For You" had fallen into the category of "Lost Posts" and this entry (Quotes From Lost Posts) was all I could find of it. So with a little help from some old notes, and tracking down a bit of an original draft, with a minor bit of synthesis from the conversation last night I present to you for the first time in it's complete form the introduction to "For You":

For You: An Introduction

For you? Of course...

Normally I wouldn't do that, but for you...

For you? Anything...

Don't tell anybody else, I'm only doing this for you...

The regular customers get the cheap stuff, but for you we'll break out the good stuff.

That's not a great deal for me, but we'll do it, only because it's for you...

For you...the two most powerful words in the English language.

There's a sucker born every minute, but every minute there are a few hundred other dopey bastards born who will probably fall for it too. Half of them know it's bullshit, but you're giving them what they want so they're happy anyway. They'll always remember you as the guy that gave them what they want even if it's not what they really wanted in the first place. The other half really think they're special. You score double points. You're giving them what they think they want, and you're doing it almost as a personal favor to them.

How much is this watch? For you only forty dollars.

Doesn't matter if the watch only costs everyone twenty dollars. It's the idea that you're getting something that someone else can't. It plays perfectly into our deep seeded conceit that we're all special.

Guess what? We're not.

Some of us just know how to work with that. Some of us just know how to fuck with people. Some of us are professionals.

And even if you're ball deep in their backside those two words can make it all feel better, "For You." Nobody cares if you're fucking them as long as they think you're fucking them less than you fuck everybody else.
~

So last night was a good one, night before (albeit weird) was pretty good too. Tonight is Michelle's birthday party and I'm sure that will be a blast. Going to run out and pick up a card and some balloons or something like that. Tomorrow night going to see if the guys are around and maybe go our for a bit. Sunday is Watchmen and I'm so excited I could practically explode. ( Note during re-read: Uh...yeah. That didn't sound like I meant it to.) So the streak lives. And I just keep on rolling.

Quick personal side note. I mentioned here last week that in my constant and unending battle to not die this year I thought I was doing sort of ok at losing a bit of weight. I was checking in at a hair under 370 late last week (that week's high was 377, low was 365). I really wanted to try and get back down to 365 by that Sunday. Figuring if I could get down to 365 I could start working on getting down to 360 and so on. To that end I was walking three miles at a clip on the treadmill and trying to be even better about what I ate. After a few days of that I had gained three pounds putting me at 372 (still far better than 395, but certainly not 365). The five days since that have been a mixed bag. The last two nights I've drank too much and not exercised at all. Monday night I ate a steak, Wednesday night I tried to eat fast food. I've still been doing good, but I felt like I took a step backwards. The end result? When I just got on the scale a few minutes ago I inexplicably checked in at 365.4 lbs. So not quite what I wanted. But close enough. I'll take it...for now.