Pit & Pile

"You might want to take a few steps that way."

"Why?"

"My head feels like it's about to explode and I wouldn't want to get any on you."

*Doubt*. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.

Seriously God, you couldn't just let me have this one? You couldn't just let me ride this one out until I wasn't feeling quite so f'ing amazing anymore? It's not like you haven't kicked me when I was down before, so what was the f'ing rush this time? Is it really a prerequisite of my miserable little existence that you have to bend me over and try to fuck me in the ass every single f'ing time I'm starting to feel good about things?

Is it?

How many times are we going to do this me and you? How many times are we going to go toe to toe only to end up in exactly the same f'ing place we started?

You can finish me off anytime you want. I have no illusions that you're not totally in charge here. This is your show brother. I know that. I bow down and give thanks for all that is great and good, but I really want to know what exactly I did to piss you off quite so much. Cuz' I have a hard time believing you'd be this much of a dick to anyone you didn't have a bone to pick with.

I mean really, you could have made me one of those poor little Somalian kids, or a quadriplegic, or dullard, or any number of things that would have started me off a hell of a lot farther down the ladder...but you didn't. You made me me. And I'm ridiculously grateful that you did, but what the hell happened after that?

Is it that I fucked up my part so badly that you can't stand the sight of me? Am I that guy? The one who screwed up your plan so royally that in all your infinite fucking wisdom you finally said, "Fuck 'em, he's on his own." Or is it that I've failed you so badly that you've decided to just fuck with me till I up and quit?

I want to know. Really, because you know I was feeling pretty good. And I'm still feeling pretty good. And I'm going to keep on feeling pretty good because I'm going to be a good person. I know I'm not one just quite yet. But I know I'm going to be because I'm surrounded by good people who I love and care about and who love and care about me, and I thank you for that too. But just cut me a little slack here, just for a bit, just for a little while longer, because I'm pretty sure I've got something going this time around and if I can keep it up...well, maybe I don't lose my fucking mind this time.

That would really be nice, wouldn't it?

Right?

Right?

"What the hell was that noise?"

"Just me venting."

"How'd it go?"

"Pretty good actually, I think we've really got something here. This part's finally ending and the next little bit is looking pretty neat."

"That's good, real good."

"Yeah, it is. Who'd of thunk it?"